You’ll have heard of Byran Johnson if you happen to’re as terminally on-line as us, the American tech entrepreneur spending hundreds of thousands of {dollars} to reverse the ageing course of and keep away from loss of life.
Johnson ingests dozens of dietary supplements every single day and experiments with unproven ‘anti-ageing’ therapies resembling infusions of his son’s plasma.
The 48-year-old eats a strict vegan weight-reduction plan, enjoys red-light and oxygen remedy, and religiously screens a number of well being metrics, from the standard of his stool to his variety of night-time erections.
In addition to being no option to reside and criminally deluded, Johnson is severely over-complicating the method. He ought to copy Luka Modric as a substitute.
We will’t make certain Modric isn’t ingesting leafy greens, taping his mouth shut at evening and doing 100 sit-ups as penance for eager about pastries. We suspect not.
However the 40-year-old midfielder remains to be the most effective round, as his match-winning golazo for AC Milan towards Pisa final evening demonstrated.
With the sport getting into its dying embers, locked at 1-1, Modric summoned a burst of tempo usually seen in veteran marathon runners to surge into the penalty space.
A number of Pisa defenders stood stationary, both in awe or considering techniques to safe his autograph post-match.
A number of extra lunged in doomed-to-failure challenges, the instinctive response of the impotent plenty within the presence of genius.
With out an inhaler in sight, Modric continued his acceleration and dinked an excellent end previous the superbly-named Brazilian goalkeeper Nicolas to win the sport.
There are a number of adjectives we are able to use to explain each the objective and Modric himself; immortal, everlasting, eternal, timeless, perpetual.
However maybe the phrase ‘sensible’ will greater than suffice. Not dangerous for someone as soon as voted La Liga’s worst signing of the season.
What a trivela objective by Modrić pic.twitter.com/ZYhlET1wcu
— Dr Yash (@YashRMFC) February 14, 2026
“It was essential for us, we couldn’t miss the win right this moment, as a result of we knew these factors had been essential to remain within the battle for the league, and we did it,” Modric informed DAZN Italia afterwards.
“We relaxed a bit within the second half and didn’t pay sufficient consideration, and that’s the reason they scored. So we pressed, went ahead, and scored that objective which is essential for us. We’re pleased for the win.
“Each recreation is basically tough in Serie A, so we’ve to proceed working, getting higher, and deal with the subsequent recreation.”
The Croatian grew to become the third-oldest participant to attain in Serie A on the age of 40 years and 157 days, behind solely fellow Milan stars Alessandro Costacurta and Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
The travelling Milan supporters have even devoted a chant to Modric based mostly upon the one utilized by Napoli followers in the direction of Diego Armando Maradona.
“It’s a privilege to listen to they’re singing this music for me. Thanks very a lot, I’m very pleased to listen to that music for me,” Modric mentioned sheepishly in response.
This win moved Milan as much as second, 5 factors adrift of metropolis rivals Inter. Successful the league is unlikely, however they completed eighth final season. It’s nonetheless progress.
Their squad is an excellent patchwork of real high quality (Rafael Leao) and Cobham graduates (Ruben Loftus-Cheek, who opened the scoring right here, and Fikayo Tomori), alongside Niclas Fullkrug (who missed a penalty).
However Modric remains to be the star.
“Luka is unbelievable,” Christopher Nkunku mentioned just lately. “He has a novel expertise and delivers distinctive cross-field passes.
“If I attempted that, I’d most likely dislocate my hip… It’s superb that he’s 40, however he might play till he’s 45 and even 46.”
Milan are determined to tie Modric all the way down to an prolonged deal, which presently expires in June. Modric is reportedly weighing up his choices.
There’s additionally the small matter of the World Cup, the place Croatia face England of their opening recreation on June seventeenth.
No matter occurs, it’s a delight to look at Modric nonetheless going sturdy and all with out infusing his son’s plasma.
By Michael Lee
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